Threesome or How Hotch Knocked Up Two Agents
by jekkah
Summary: I don't know where this came from. Yes, there's a threesome, but ultimately, it is JJ/Hotch. Based on the fact that JLH and AJ Cook are both pregnant, but ignoring Kate's pregnancy reveal on the show and the fact that they don't have the same due dates.
1. Chapter 1

_Author's Note: I don't know where this came from. Yes, there's a threesome, but ultimately, it is JJ/Hotch. Based on the fact that JLH and AJ Cook are both pregnant, but ignoring Kate's pregnancy reveal on the show and the fact that they don't have the same due dates._

**THREESOME OR HOW HOTCH KNOCKED UP TWO AGENTS**

"Have you ever had a threesome?"

"Wh- what?" Kate sputtered, nearly spitting her margarita across the table. "JJ, you're drunk."

JJ rolled her eyes and pointed to her half-finished wineglass. "I've had one and a half glasses of wine. That's nowhere near enough to get me drunk." She leaned forward. "I'm just trying to get to know you better."

Frowning, Kate countered, "And you couldn't have started off with my favorite color?"

"Red." JJ laughed when Kate shot her a look. "I am a profiler. So, tell me, have you ever had a threesome?"

"No!" she replied, indignantly. Kate took a sip. "Have- have you?"

JJ licked her lips and nodded. "Oh, yes. A few times. Not with Will, though," JJ clarified, though Kate hadn't expressed any curiosity. "He's asked a couple of times, but I don't know; I'm just not interested in having one with him."

Kate nodded, absently. She focused her eyes on the rest of the bar, hoping to appear nonchalant, even as her brain raced a million miles a minute. She sighed when she realized that JJ was watching her. "What kind of threesomes?"

"You mean like was it two women and one man, two men and me, or three women?" Kate's eyes widened. "I haven't been with all women, although Emily – she was here before Blake – used to try to bring me into her affair with Erin Strauss. Did you know her?"

"Yes!" Kate shouted. "I didn't know she was having an affair with an agent in the BAU."

JJ shrugged. "Actually, she had two: with Emily and with Rossi. And her and Reid had this weird night once at one of Morgan's poker games that got out of control, but we were never quite clear on what exactly happened. And she and Hotch had this weird chemistry at times, but I think that was more on her side. I know for certain that they never slept together."

Kate put her elbows on the table. "How do you know?"

"Because I asked him." JJ took a sip of her wine. "And I always know when Hotch is lying."

"Speaking of weird chemistry," Kate muttered. She waved off JJ's questioning look. "So, which kind of threesome have you had?"

Waggling her eyebrows, JJ shivered. "Both with two women and one man and with two men and just me."

Kate ran her fingers across the exposed skin of her chest. "Anyone I know?"

"Oh, yeah. Once with Hotch, Jordan Todd – she was the woman that took over for me while I was on maternity leave with Henry, and me; once with Hotch, Ashley Seaver – she was the woman who joined the team right after I left for a year, and me; twice with Hotch, Rossi, and me; and a few times with Hotch, his ex-now-deceased-wife, and me."

"J-J," Kate drew out as she reviewed JJ's list, "all of your threesomes have involved Hotch."

JJ hummed in agreement. "Hotch is very, very good."

Shifting in her seat as she felt moisture pool between her legs, Kate pushed further, "But why do all of your threesomes involve Hotch?"

"He was the one that got me into them," JJ stated, plainly. "See, when Rossi first joined the team, there was a bit of friction between him and Hotch."

"Over what?"

Running circles over the table with her index finger, JJ glanced up through her lashes. "Part of it was do to the differences between how the BAU was run when Rossi and Hotch were first on it together and how it's run now."

"And the other part?"

"Rossi may have tossed a few leering glances my way that Hotch didn't appreciate." JJ smirked. "Anyway, Hotch came up with the idea that maybe if we had this threesome that it would create a bond between the three of us and allow any awkwardness to disappear."

Kate no longer hid her intrigue. "And did it work?"

JJ did a little shimmer as she remembered that first time and how beautifully Hotch and Rossi worked together over her skin. "Oh, yes. Our second time was right after I decided to come back to the BAU. There was this lingering uncomfortableness between the three of us because I went to Rossi before I went to Hotch with the news. It really was just a coincidence; I thought it would be Hotch working late when I stopped, but it was Rossi."

"What is with you and H-"

"The threesome," JJ continued, cutting her off, "with Hotch, Jordan, and me was to get him to trust her when she was taking over for me. I did not have a hard time convincing her at all, but that was definitely odd because I was nearly nine months pregnant. It was loads of fun, though."

Kate swallowed the saliva forming in her mouth. "And you, Hotch, and Seaver? How did that come about?"

Biting her bottom lip, JJ suppressed a giggle. They had certainly "come" a lot that night. "Well, Hotch was a bit concerned that Ashley wasn't fitting in well with the team and asked if I would be willing to help them bond. I think she was a little disappointed that I was there, honestly, but she came around."

"Okay, but you and Hotch's wife?" Kate questioned. "His wife?"

"Hotch thought it would make Haley less jealous of our working relationship; mine and Hotch's." JJ made a disdainful face. "It didn't."

Kate played with the rim of her glass. "How did Hotch talk you into doing any of this in the first place? You don't seem like someone who gets easily enticed into situations and this doesn't seem like Hotch at all."

JJ shook her head. "It's not. I mean, he's not, someone that would usually do this. I was the one that talked him into it at first. Well, not the threesome, but-" She took a deep breath to stop her rambling. "When I first joined the team, there was some… resistance from Hotch. I thought it had to do with my age and well, the face that I'm a woman."

"But it didn't?"

"Nope. Turns out that he was majorly attracted to me and felt incredibly guilty about that. Of course, he didn't tell me that until later. So, anyway, I had this real close call with an unsub, like a real close call. I though Hotch was angry with me for putting myself in the situation, but he was actually terrified for me. I went and I told him that we should have sex to get everything out in the open and as a way to connect. The bottle of whiskey that we shared probably aided in the decision."

Reaching across the table, Kate grabbed JJ's hands. "JJ, do you have feelings for Hotch?"

Closing her eyes, briefly, JJ was unable to look directly at Kate when she opened them back up. "I love him; I'm in love with him. But our timing has never been right. So, we grab what we can with these threesomes, and occasional twosomes, but only under extreme duress."

"Why are you telling me all of this?" Kate questioned with a gentle voice.

"I don't know."

Kate's lips curled upward. "Could it maybe be because you're hoping that I'll help you out tonight with Hotch?"

JJ dodged her knowing expression. "Maybe."

"And maybe the reason that you won't have a threesome with Will is because it's your thing with Hotch?" To this, JJ gave a singe terse nod. Kate sat up straighter. "JJ, you know, I've been on this team for a few months now, but I don't really feel as though Hotch trusts me."

"What?" JJ's head flew up.

Kate grinned. "You seem to have a good rapport with him. Is there anyway that you can help me 'bond' with Hotch?"

A slick smile appeared across JJ's face. She stood, tossing money down on the table before pulling up Kate by her hands. "Come on. Let's go."

Giggling, the two skipped from the bar holding hands.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER TWO**

To see chapter two, please head over to AO3: archiveofourown works / 3593760 / chapters / 7926426

Remove the spaces. I apologize for sending you elsewhere, but I can't post that chapter here.


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER THREE**

Sometime later, Kate was awoken by a gentle rocking motion. Disoriented, it took her a moment to realize that she was not at home, nor was she in her own hotel room. Memories of her activities with JJ and Hotch earlier came crashing over her. She waited for shame and guilt to follow, but found they did not.

A quiet moan drew Kate from her thoughts. She turned her head and realized what it was that had woken her up. Hotch was hovering over JJ, the comforter having fallen from their naked bodies. A small light from outside shined on them. Kate could see the sheen of sweat covering them both as Hotch moved gingerly in and out of her.

Tears came to Kate's eyes as she recognized that they were not having sex, but making love. A love that was forbidden due to their positions in the FBI and her marriage. She understood academically that JJ had feelings for Hotch from their conversation in the bar and she would have been a moron to miss that Hotch reciprocated after the looks between the two when she and JJ showed up at his hotel room. But the depth of their connection took her breath away.

Memorized, Kate was unable to look away. Hotch and JJ's eyes were locked onto the other's. He grazed her face with his fingertips while she stroked his back. They moved little, their bodies pressed tightly together, but Kate had never seen anything so erotic in her life. She only knew they came because Hotch put his head on JJ's shoulder.

Embarrassed to have spied on such an intimate act, despite their previous pursuits, Kate quietly turned away from them, keeping her movements deliberately in such a way so that they would think she remained asleep. Her cheeks were red and she was certain that they glowed in the dark. She held her breath when she heard Hotch whisper.

"I love you."

"I love you, too," JJ replied in a watery voice.

"I don't think I can keep doing this," Hotch confessed.

"Me, either," she agreed.

"I-" he paused. "What do you mean?"

"I love you, Hotch. It's killing me not being with you all of the time. I want to leave Will," JJ told him.

"Really?" Kate was surprised by the vulnerability in his voice. "What about work… and the team?"

"There's a PR firm that's been after me to join them for years. It's better pay and almost no travel," she said.

"Why haven't you taken it before?"

"Because-" JJ hesitated. "Because I couldn't bare to be away from you, not after the State Department, not after the baby."

Kate heard no more words after that, just the smacking and slurping of kisses. Soon, it was followed by the same rocking motion that had woken her. This time, however, it lulled her back to sleep.

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Two months later:

"JJ?"

"Kate!" JJ exclaimed. She hugged the other woman. "How are you?"

Kate smiled, awkwardly. "Okay. How are things with you?"

JJ blushed. "Better than I expected. The new job's fantastic. I love my boss and my co-workers are great. Not as great as the BAU, of course."

"Of course," Kate laughed.

"Will and I are in the process of getting a divorce, amicable, if you can believe it," JJ rambled on. "Turns out that he had fallen for a cop in another department, but didn't know how to tell me. He was so relieved when I told him that I was I leaving. And the boys are coming to terms with everything. Jack's a little better than Henry, but I think that's understandable."

Nodding, Kate agreed. "So, what are you doing here? This pharmacy is a little out of your way, isn't it?"

JJ cringed. "I wanted to avoid running into anyone that I knew." She paused. "It's a little out of your way, too, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Kate confessed after a moment. "I didn't want to run into anyone either. What are you here for?"

"Pregnancy test," JJ replied, sheepishly, showing her the pink and white box in her hand. "You?"

Kate took a deep breath. "Same." She closed her eyes. "Here's the thing: Chris and I tried for years to conceive with no results."

JJ's eyes widened. "You know that Hotch and I will be here for anything that you need."

"I'm hoping that, if this is positive, that Hotch will be okay with doing nothing," Kate explained.

"You're not planning on telling Chris?" JJ touched her shoulder when Kate shook her head. "Then, that's what we'll do."

Color returned to Kate's face as she breathed a sigh of relief. "How late are you?"

JJ turned crimson. "About two months."

"Same night?" Kate chortled.

"So, it would appear!" JJ linked her arm through Kate's. "Come on; let's go grab some ice cream around the block and take these tests. I have a feeling that we're going to need to celebrate."

**THE END**


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